Or Pirate with a Scarf. Whatever you call him. This wonderful bloke:
A little while ago, I finally got to see Pirates! Band of Misfits. I had been wanting to see this movie since I saw the commercial, and I was infuriated to find out that it had been belated. (However, I guess this is a good thing. If Pirates had come out quicker, I wouldn’t have seen The Lorax and appreciate it as much as I did.) Anyways, if you’re bored and feel like seeing something, I highly recommend Pirates! It’s silly and completely historically inaccurate (Charles Darwin is in love with Queen Victoria and has an ape butler, people had flushing toilets despite the fact it was 1872, they start the film off by cooking ham in a bag, etc.) and silly this film is, it was still highly enjoyable.
Anyways, I went into the theatre having no idea what was going to happen. The trailer really doesn’t do much for the plot. (Turns out the pirate captain’s “big-boned parrot” was actually a pretty big plot point.) Anyways, I had no idea who number two was for awhile… but as soon as he began talking I immediately fell in love with him. (Metaphorically. I don’t think I’ve ever felt romantically attracted to an animated character since Danny Phantom when I was ten.)
Number two is, like the name entitles, Pirate Captain’s first mate. (By the way, very few characters in this movie actually have names. The main character is named Pirate Captain, and his crew consists of Number two, albino pirate, pirate with a gout, surprisingly curvaceous pirate and the pirate that likes unicorns and rainbows.) Despite the fact that Number two was not the main character, I couldn’t help but love him! He was Pirate Captain’s best friend from the very start and he’s always there for him, which is clear in the gif above. The Pirate Captain is currently worried about his dancing skills and Number Two kindly reassures him that “you’ve still got it, captain.”
I thought that was cute, but it could’ve been anyone that said that, right? So it wasn’t until later that I decided I liked Number Two even more. The Pirate Captain, (who by the way, actually reminds me a lot of the Once-ler… long story), becomes hopeless when he realizes that there’s no way he will win the “Pirate of the Year Award”. He even comes with the conclusion that he should give up pirating and start knitting baby clothes. But when Number Two hears this, he is shocked, and gives the Pirate Captain a long monologue about what pirating is really about: having fun.
When the Pirate Captain is at his worst, Number Two is always there to cheer him up. And when he’s in danger, Number Two’s always there to watch out for him. Later, Number Two finds out that Charles Darwin might be up to something. And when he gets his worries dismissed by Pirate Captain, he doesn’t push it. Instead, he waits in his room with a sword in hand, ready to protect his captain when needed.
It’s best now to stop reading of you haven’t seen the film.
It would have been easy to make Number Two a little one-dimensional. He could’ve just been completely obsessed with his captain and he could’ve admired him completely, but he wasn’t like that. He does have his morals and his mind in line. So when the Pirate Captain sells his beloved pet Polly to the Queen for a pile of gold, Number Two does not protect him. He knows that what Pirate Captain did was wrong, and he’s not going to go out of his way to try to prove otherwise. The Pirate Captain had gone against what Pirating was all about just for a contest, and Number Two would have none of that. So what does he and the rest of the crew do? They leave.
This could be seen as something cruel or unnecessary, but… when you think about it, what would you do if your friend had gone against everything they believed in for just a small gold trophy? Sometimes, one needs to realize what they do wrong on their own, and Number Two does just that. He wants the Pirate Captain to think about what he had done, and he wants him to realize that he was not the pirate he used to be.
But then, as pictured above, Number Two and the rest of the crew come to Pirate Captain’s rescue when he’s in danger. They find out that he had changed his ways back to good, and that they could admire him once again.
The movie ends with the pirates sailing away, with a Polly on board and all of the pirates present. After being rescued and safely returned to his ship, Pirate Captain looks like he is going to apologize to Number Two and the rest of them for what he had done, but before he can do so, what happens? Number Two hugs him. He hugs him to tell the Pirate Captain that he’s forgiven and that he’s back to the great Captain he always was, trophy or not. AND IT IS A MANLY HUG.
He’s cute. Sue me.
Also I swear to god he’s wearing a thneed.